The side effects of cancer recovery

Brings a lot of surprises. I have blogged about some of it.

Overthinking because of time on your hands. Seriously. I'm well on my way to solving world peace
Being so exhausted I have to take a break on the way to the bathroom from my bed and sit on the couch that is mere inches from my bed
Copious amounts of narcotics to take due to pain pain paaaiiinn (singing)
Need to drink prune juice (oh my gosh did I tell you that????-said in a strange high voice)

And now apparently something else, very serious. Sorta of a modified Tourette syndrome. If you don't know what that is please google it. It's terrible and nothing to make light of the people who really have this. I just have no other explination. But it causes people to move their body unexpectedly even if they don't want to and some times shout things out? Please My dear friends, never ever take anything medical I say on this blog and repeat it with any confidence. To anyone. I know just enough to be dangerous and ALL that I know from my entire life fits on the head of a tiny pin. Maybe half. So please don't go having a conversation with someone repeating medical stuff saying...well the other day Lolita said blah blah blah (fainting at the thought). It's why I bring people with me to appointments. I TRY to focus. I really do, it's just all I want to shoutout is ppeerrfecct- just wheeeeennn do we get to the--and now they look pretty and I can stop taking my shirt off constantly-part!!!! But of course I don't shout that. I listen, I nod my head and ask questions then I look at my brother and say ok um Kev? Do you have any questions? Praying to the big man upstairs he does and it's a doozy so we look smart.

Back to the Tourette's issue. You see there is that shooting nerve pain thing you get after surgeries like this. It just comes on sudden and nasty nasty. So there I am sitting around, minding my own business, there it goes POW!! I immediately gasp out----loud. My hands ball up in fists up at the side of my head, then release and of course I say ummm stuff. Really bad stupid stuff that I am trying super duper hard not to say. So when I apply this effort at a time I'm in shocking pain I am truly embarrassed what comes out and the combination of things. I don't even say this stuff on the regular in real life! Hey, do you like how I just tried to act like this time in my life isn't real and pretend (nodding my head-you caught that, right?)? I'll spend some time on a therapy couch somewhere for that. What I'm trying to say is I don't normally say these things. Rather this combination of words. The other day I texted my sister in her room late at night telling her sister if you hear cursing from our room, to not worry my boyfriend and I are not having a fight. It's the shooting nerve pain. She replied. Feel better sister. Sorry and don't worry I won't tell nurse muneca (our momma) you have a mouth like a truck driver. K?

True real life examples. Note: Kids- cover your ears. Religious people-change the channel or clutch your bible to your chest and pray for me. Judgemental people-kiss my grits

Shooting pain #1: gasp fuuuuuck shit balls!! What?? I don't say balls. I hate that word.

Shooting pain #2: gasp oh my god!! fuckin can o beans!!! What! what? I do NOT take The Lords name in vain. I'm teased for saying oh my gosh all the time.

Shooting pain #3: always a loud gasp. ass monkey!! (Silence) I have no words

I have a friend who says What the French Toast?!!!! Great way to not say bad words, classy and cute. I have said it. Awesome. However I'm not able to carry this grace under shooting nerve pain situation.

Shooting pain #4: gasp?!!!! Ooo yyiiiii fuccckk the French toast!!! (Head in my hands)